Sighhhhhh. I did it again. And I wasn’t even in a hurry. At this point in my life I honestly don’t know how many speeding tickets I’ve gotten. Maybe ten? Maybe that’s not a TON for sixteen years of driving… maybe it is? I don’t know. I’m so far deep in this Super Speeder thing that I can’t see the forest for the trees anymore.
The big Super Speeder tickets have been for about 15-17 mph over the limit and these are the ones that really burn me up. If you haven’t had the pleasure of being pulled over in South Georgia… BE WARNED. The ticket game on I-75 from the Florida border all the way to Macon is strong. If you are going 15 mph over the speed limit, just plan on being pulled over. Period. These fools have laser radars that some of the best radar detectors don’t pick up until Sheriff Buford T. Justice is hot on your tail. The Waze app helps, but no one had yet tagged the GSP that got me on Saturday morning. These guys take this stuff ser.i.ous.ly. Their full intent is to pull super speeders over, all day, errrreday. If you don’t believe me, please refer to the ginormous billboard on the side of I-75 with two scowling sheriffs that says “SEE YOU UP AHEAD”. By the end of my round trip between Atlanta and Jacksonville on Saturday, I saw eleven people pulled over on that South Georgia stretch.
All of this information is probably leading you to two questions. One, what is a super speeder and why do Georgia State Patrol hunt them like a ten point buck during deer season? And two, if I’m aware of the south Georgia speed traps, why don’t I just slow down?
First question… In Georgia, a super speeder is anyone going over the speed limit by fifteen miles per hour or more. Why is a super speeder hunted? Because in addition to the hefty speeding ticket fine that you must pay, a super speeder gets the added bonus of paying an additional $200 tacked on to the regular ticket fine because you’re just THAT good at speeding. Lane got a super speeder ticket the year before last and it was about $600 total. I fully expect for the ticket that I got on Saturday to be about that much as well. I can not honestly even comprehend the amount of money that these south Georgia counties collect in super speeder tickets. Even if we average it out to $500 per ticket, just the people that I saw pulled over on Saturday (plus myself) would total $6,000. This is the part I have such a problem with… like, I get it. I was going too fast, ya got me. But do I have to sell a kidney to pay for it?
Second question… why don’t I just slow down? I don’t know! On Saturday I was on high alert the second that I crossed the state line into Georgia. Maybe all the peanuts and cotton swirling in the air is some sort of aphrodisiac that lulls you into the
Bermuda South Georgia Triangle of speeding? All I know is one second I had the cruise set at a safe speed and was singing Sam Hunt like I was an undiscovered star on The Voice, and the next second I was pulling out my license and registration. I never intend to speed. I think that the woman driving beside me in a busted Cavalier whose five year old was literally riding on her dashboard down I-75 should probably have been reprimanded harder than me, but then child endangerment probably doesn’t pay as much as a super speeder ticket.
Do I need to slow down? Yes. But I always wear my seatbelt, I don’t text and drive, my hands are at 10 and 2m, I use my blinkers… so there is occasionally a little granite in my shoe, sue me. Only don’t, because I will have no money left after paying this ticket.
(p.s. In all the seriousness in the whole wide world… I was furious about getting this ticket. I was mad at myself for not paying attention and mad about how much I know it will cost. One hour after I got pulled over the entire interstate came to a screeching halt because of a nine car accident with fatalities. Where would I have been if Officer Copeland hadn’t stopped me?…)
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